he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just high enough for therapy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
