I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just pee around me
Someone came in the potted fern
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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