I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
