Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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