your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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