Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize