you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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