We won't sleep together?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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