she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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