Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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