dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
