You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
