I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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