He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
