**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
