I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
