Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
