so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think your dad took our porno
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
