It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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