It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
