So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
