your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
