he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
