id be glad to
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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