that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
