I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
