they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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