I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
