There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
