Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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