Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
