He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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