plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
