I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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