i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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