There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
