haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
