I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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