i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
