Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
