what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
