Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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