Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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