drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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