I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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