I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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