i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
