You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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