It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
