I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
