Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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