READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
