The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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