I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
