he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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