1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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