Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're like the curious george of whores
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
