so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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