no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He felt like a one man threesome
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
