Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
