I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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