dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
