I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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